Kelley goes through some funky moves... [thanks to FHM Magazine] This is the rhythm of the night! She taught Human Nature and Scandal'us their steps, now Kelley Abbey turns her expertise to FHM...

This is a highly adaptable move that's guaranteed to break the ice anywhere, any time. The secret, explains Kelley, is to keep your back "straight like an ironing-board". Simply step side to side and rock back and forth to the beat, and mix it up at the end with your own take on the situation.

Rock it back		Move those shoulders
Bring your legs together		Now the other shoulder
Be all smooth		Go, Wooo!

If the DJ's sppinning some old-school Parliament or the Jackson Five, here's your move. The beauty of funk music is that you get to pick how fast you move - and this move is perfect for fast struttin' or more laidback stylings. The secret to this step is to point like you feel it and rock your hips as you do so.

Feel the funk		To the other side
Freak it to the east		Freak it to the west
Juggle a soccer ball		Make like a chicken

This is the one for the sharp-dressed R&B set: step with vigour, keep your arms tight, shake your butt proudly when the step permits, and at the end "push it, push it" to let the crowd know that you're having a ball. Take care not to bump into fellow dancers - they may be packing heat.

Step to the right		Give the devil's sign
Now clap 'em		Shake dat booty
And shake it some mo'		Push up the sky

Women love the ability to salsa. The secret is to step forward and back out of "the box", all the while shaking your hips to and fro. It's actually much easier than it looks: just walk back and forth and wiggle a bit. Keep your arms up like you're dancing with a saucy senorita for maximum effect.

Thrust firmly from the hip		Back off gently
Be a scarecrow		Now take it back
And sway it back		Be a poser

Ravers are oft found moving themselves with a fitful glee that belies their lack of physical fitness. Kick the beats hard and follow through with your arms with vim and vigour. At the end of the step, lean back, face the DJ and prepare to give him or her respect by pointing your fingers at them. It's the done thing.

Prepare to kick the ball...		... through the big sticks
Lose mind		Do some shin-hacking
Regain mind		Swear allegiance to the DJ

When all else fails, turn onto the flavour of the moment and bust some moves from the Popstars version two debut single Me, Myself & I on the dance floor. It's guaranteed to impress younger relatives at family get-togethers - and make your knees crack when you crouch down too energetically.

Elbow your partner		Hang your butt out to dry
Thrust with vigour		Strike a pose
Roll your hands around		Be a steeple

Photos by Martin Mischkulnig
FHM Magazine - August 2001